As Eating Freely practitioners at KK Wellness, we see some basic influences that can affect your food choices. Let's break it down into three main topics—Food Availability, Lifestyle, and Relationships.
First off, let's dig into food availability. I want to point out how societal pressures play a part in our relationship with food and what we have available to prepare for ourselves. There are so many conflicting messages about what we should and shouldn't be eating. This comes from social media, well-meaning friends and family, and ads we hear on the TV and radio. Even the way food is labeled can send confusing messages. For example, there is low carb, low-fat, gluten-free, sugar-free, Atkins diet, the Zone diet, Keto, the grapefruit diet, Paleo, Master Cleanse, and Whole 30. The diets come with promises of losing weight quickly and yes, in some cases quick weight loss can happen, but these diets also can demonize and cut out certain food groups, labeling them as "bad". These fad diets are realistically not sustainable.
What can happen in our brain is we create food rules that we will wrestle with, leading to analysis paralysis, where we don’t know what to eat. Have you ever said these statements to yourself? I should cut out bread because carbs are bad, I shouldn’t eat eggs because of the cholesterol, I should only eat breakfast in the morning, I should stop eating after 5 pm…. What we need to do is – stop ‘should’ing all over ourselves! All this "shoulding" leads to us punishing ourselves by denying Vitamin P = pleasure.
An example of punishing behavior is, denying the celebratory piece of cake or that extra serving of fruit because carbs are ‘BAD'. This cycle of restricting can lead to a spiral of binging on these "off-limit" foods because if we break down and eat them, we say f**k it, I’ve already screwed up I MIGHT AS WELL CONTINUE. What I want you to hear is that a celebratory piece of cake can be nourishing. You can allow yourself to be included in the celebration without guilt. Have the responsible portion of the cake and be done with it, don't dwell on it, and then move on.
Clients participating in our Eating Freely program are encouraged to eat 3 main meals with 1 or 2 snacks throughout the day. We encourage eating all food groups because our body was created to thrive on a balance of protein, carbohydrates, and fats. This includes meats, grains, fruits and vegetables, nuts, and seeds. Eating 3 main meals per day with a snack can be accomplished! It can be done.
How? Organization and planning are a must. Here are some tips: Look at your upcoming weeks to see what is on your schedule and plan your meals accordingly. Do you have sports events and practices where you will be gone at dinner time? Sandwiches or wraps with fruit and veggies are a great on-the-go dinner option. Do you work a full-time job? Then bulk prepping proteins and carbs for use throughout the week is a great way to make mealtimes easier in the evenings. Prepare enough dinner to pack a leftover meal for lunch the next day. Another tip is to utilize a menu planner. Build your grocery list from your menu plan to keep yourself organized and make shopping more efficient and less stressful. Have a theme for each day of the week such as Meatless Mondays or Taco Tuesdays. I prioritize protein and build the meal around that, adding in a veggie and a starch to balance the meal. The big picture takeaway is, to have food available with a plan of action so you aren't left scrambling or wondering what to eat. Focus on 3 main meals that include all food groups- our bodies thrive on a plentiful supply of protein, fruits, veggies, grains, and fat sources.
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Next, let's talk about lifestyle. The way you plan will largely be based on your lifestyle. Priming and preparing your environment determines the level of success in ANY lifestyle you choose surrounding food choices. I.E.: Having FOODS available to eat.
From the get-go, it's important to accept that everyone is different, and you need to find your way of balanced eating in a nourishing way that fits with your lifestyle. There is no one-size-fits-all. Some of you here today work full time, perhaps you are in school for greater degrees, and maybe you are a stay-at-home mom. Kids’ sports may take up a lot of your evening.
Comparing your life to what works for your neighbor or that social media influencer is completely unrealistic. We can learn from others, but should find what personally works and not compare. Instead, you must look at your circumstances and ensure you're doing what you can for yourself and tune out everyone else. Working with a coach at KKW is one way to find guidance towards discovering what works for you. As we touched on already, the first thing you can do is to look at your daily and weekly routine and be realistic about how and when you will eat 3 to 5 times a day.
Consider this, look within your individual routine. Are there certain times of the day or the week when you are regularly skipping meals? This can happen deliberately because you are "saving up calories" to use on "off-limit foods". It can simply be a failure to plan and prepare a meal leading to eating crap on the go because of hunger paired with no plan for a nourishing meal. What do you need to do to ensure you are eating nutritionally dense food, regularly throughout the day?
Take an honest look at where your trigger points or danger zones are in your routine! Consistently not eating meals, forgetting to eat and not prioritizing regular meals throughout the day leads to the perfect storm of hunger and fatigue, which, more often than not, leads to bingeing on unwanted food choices at night.
So, for example, moms, do you habitually take care of your kids’ or husband's needs first and put yourself last at mealtimes or skip the meal altogether? This can lead to mindlessly finishing your kid's meal or shoveling down the leftover chicken nuggets and mac’n’cheese. This habit, over time, has become internalized as an autopilot. To break an autopilot habit, you must interrupt the habit loop and stop the brain long enough for it to question what you are doing. If you plan out meals for yourself and prepare them in advance, you can break that autopilot. Another example of an autopilot habit loop is for working moms. Scenario: Before work, you pack the kids’ lunches, ensure they have breakfast, and send them out the door for school. You grab your cup of coffee and go out the door. Lunch is takeout because you didn’t plan for yourself, which most likely will lead to an impulsive nutrient-void food choice because you are starving, choosing the highly palatable, convenient food. This lunch choice doesn’t satiate you very long, leaving you hungry on the way home, which leads to grabbing anything in sight when you get home and then resorting to take out because you are tired and have decision fatigue from a full day of work.
To break this habit loop, you must take some time to plan a nutritious breakfast that you can eat while helping the kids, or plan a breakfast you can prepare that will satisfy yourself and the family. Go ahead and pack your lunch when packing the kids’ lunch. Better yet, make the kids pack their lunch the night before, and you as well, pack your lunch the night before. To top it off, pack a snack like an apple and cheese stick to have on the drive home so that you are feeling stable and balanced when you arrive home.
Let's continue with the topic of lifestyle. Do you find yourself gravitating to the pantry or fridge because you're feeling bored? Boredom is a huge trigger for mindless or emotional eating. If this is a habit, you may need to consciously decide to do other things that leave less time for you to get bored. Do something that will occupy your thoughts, grab your attention, and give you satisfaction from completing them.
Boredom can also be used as a blanket term for an unidentified emotion. The Wheel of Emotions can help identify what you are feeling and where your source of stress is coming from. When you feel anxiety and stress rising, this is a signal your body is giving you that a boundary is about to be crossed or has been crossed already. Use the Wheel of Emotions to help identify these boundaries. Once you know where the stress and anxiety are coming from, you can put a name on it, and you can mentally and physically prepare yourself with a plan of action. For example, the transition from work to home can be a trigger, and the transition from kids at school to kids coming home can be a trigger.
Another example can be visits with family that trigger childhood trauma and uncomfortable feelings. You have identified the trigger, so what are you going to do about it? This is where an antecedent intervention is needed -- something that you do before the triggering event even occurs. I take 5 minutes before my kids come home from school to eat a healthy snack and ground myself so I am not blindsided by the energy that kids can bring. Take time out of your day to ground yourself and get your perspective and thoughts to a place of peace. Guided meditation is a great tool to keep in your toolbox and use regularly. Kristin Neff has a wealth of resources and guided meditations to utilize and keep in your toolbox.
Set a positive intention every day – today I choose to be healthy. Today I choose to be calm. Physically write your intentions down and set a couple of reminder alarms on your phone during the day to remind you of your intentions. It's easy to have good intentions at the beginning of the day. Writing your intentions down and setting reminders allows you to reset if you’ve let it slip your mind.
Learn more about adjusting your behaviors and how Eating Freely can help you ditch the diet today!
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