It's time to trim the fat. And it might just be AROUND you, not on you.
That's right... I said it. And I can say it, because I know from personal experience that this is true.
You may be familiar with the phrase by Jim Rohn, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.''
This is honestly a hard thought to chew on, because so many relationships have just always existed. It’s hard to imagine a life without them. Perhaps they entered your life at a moment in time that made sense, but when you really think about it, most relationships form out of convenience. Maybe you met your friends when you attended the same school, took the same class, or maybe you just drank once with them in a bar in college and you clung to them for dear life, craving that sense of security and those who “knew you when.”
The fact is, most of the relationships in your life outlive their actual life. Whether it’s friendships, romances, even some family ties, this theory still applies. That's because so many conveniently formed relationships were formed around surface level activities, never growing any real roots or intimacy. As you grow and change, many of these relationships leave you feeling exhausted, a little bit empty, insecure, and constantly wavering between your past self and the future self you want to be.
The past is comfortable! I get it. But comfortable doesn't allow you to reach your true potential!
For years before I was a nutrition coach, I struggled with the concept of not wanting to let go of friends and relationships that had just been there. There was nothing necessarily wrong with these people. Some of them I genuinely cared about, but they just weren't contributing much value back into my life. Rather, I felt like I was trying to fit in to theirs. I was looking for more. I was looking to be more. Deep down, I wanted to be something else.
I was searching for myself, but I wasn't able to find her because I was stuck in the comfort zone of relationS**TS as opposed to real relationSHIPS.
This ranged from boyfriends who just took everything they could from my energy supply, without ever refueling me--to the way friends kept me in familiar entertainment patterns, like drinking every Friday and Saturday night in a bar. My energy was always depleted. I felt like crap all the time. Because of that, I felt completely hopeless. Despite my best fitness efforts, I was afraid that this was the life I'd always live, in the body I'd always hate, and that I’d always feel like a shell of a person.
It took a final, awful break-up, some uncomfortable moments of honesty with old friends, and slowly distancing myself from others, to allow the room for me to become the person I wanted to be.
I guarantee if you are struggling with weight right now, your relationships are likely the problem. Take a look around: who are you letting in?
Think about it:
If your boyfriend only wants to eat out, despite your healthier lifestyle, or blatantly ignores your best intentions and orders pizza routinely because that's what he wants, how likely are you to reach your goals?
If your friends' favorite bonding activity is celebrating every Friday happy hour, drinking holiday, and sports match with alcohol, how likely are you to feel good in the skin you're in?
If you have family or friends that tend to say things about themselves, like they are "just born fat," or "meant to be average," or say/imply to you: "Why do you feel like you have to change? Are you better than us?", where is your support team?
If your circle of friends throw shade on others who: take care of themselves, attract others in the room, score the high-paying job, and who celebrate who they are and their achievements, how are you supposed to feel secure in wanting the same great things for yourself?
You DESERVE what you WANT.
Implement the actions, behaviors, and energy that you believe you really are meant to be (which is nothing less than awesome), right now. Distance yourself from everything that doesn't push you in this direction (social media purge, anyone?).
The wrong relationships will find the exit… And yes, that sucks for a moment. But in the grand scheme of your life, that's one heck of a pivotal moment! Rip off the Band-Aid!
The right relationships will either restructure for you, or new ones will now have the room to enter your life and propel you towards the goals you've set for yourself.
You deserve to love your life--and most of all, love your body. If you have a vision of your best you, you can achieve it!
Create a life surrounded by people who are examples of the qualities you aim for, who believe in your best, who are there to support your journey, to love you for you, and won’t let you sacrifice your best self for the sake of their own agenda, or anything else!
And better yet, be that person for someone else! Be the example! Pay this lovely stuff forward, because before you know it, you'll be living a life that is vibrant in the mind, body, and soul. You never know who is watching and who you may inspire. If that's not worth a few break-ups, I don't know what is!
"It's time to stop pretending that you're this average person. You've got big work to do. BIG." -Tiffany Han
Don't be afraid to make big uncomfortable changes. Decide what you want today, and get on that train with a one-way ticket. Trust in yourself, believe in yourself, and you'll attract others to your tribe that do the same.